We always hear terrible stories on the Internet about how parents fucked up their children’s lives… Well, this isn’t one of those. Here’s something parents can do RIGHT, and it has to with Valentine’s Day.
My dad is a very principled man, and he always made it clear to us that his marriage with my mom took priority over everything else. There was a lot of safety and security for us as kids, in that knowledge. One of the ways he showed this was prioritizing taking my mom on dates. Sometimes, their getaways looked so cool and fun that me and my brother were jealous of the experiences they got to have (like trips or special restaurants). But my parents would say, “We do a lot of things for you. This is something we are doing for us and our marriage, and you will benefit from us having a successful marriage.“ They were totally and completely right.
Valentine’s Day, however, was an exception to this rule. My parents always included us in Valentine’s Day. They have romantic dates, too, but they always emphasize that Valentine’s Day was a day to celebrate all kinds of love, especially familial love. We would give each other valentines, little gifts, decorate the house, and often go out to dinner together. I loved getting dressed up and seeing the romantic couples out on the town when we would go out!
That was a really formative experience for me, one that I am trying to keep in mind as I raise my kids. I think it’s one of the reasons I love Valentine’s Day so much. Because my parents always made it such a positive celebration (a celebration I was included in whether or not I had experienced romantic love), I’ve never dreaded Valentine’s Day like so many of my peers have.
So, even though we also have a romantic date planned for Valentine’s Day, my husband and I took are taking our kids out for Valentine’s Day this evening and celebrating the love of our family. I hope, my daughter, as she excitedly gets dressed up and sees all the lovely couples at the restaurant, will feel included while creating a vision for her future. And I hope to give my son a strong example of how to show love to his family.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you know that you are loved. ❤️
Tatyana